Okay, I never really have new years resolutions. Never have, never will. But for this year, I will make an exception and just have one goal. I’m going to be happy dammit! I’m happy now, but I am going to strive to be 100% happy, with or without Uriel’s forgiveness. Waiting for Uriel’s forgiveness will not hold me back anymore. I will be happy with or without him in my life. And I will keep trying. It will be hard, but damnit, I’m going to make it happen.
There, I said it.
Well, 2010 is here. Another year of no Uriel in my life. Not the end of the world but, it would be nice to have him back in my life, even as just friends.
I don’t know how people do it. I try to be busy all the time, yet there is still this void that yearns for Uriel. My social calendar has never been so full, and it’s good. I’m happy, but there is still something missing. I need uriel’s forgiveness. I don’t know why, but I need it. For peace of mind.
I know Uriel’s friends are reading this. Most of my visitors are from the east coast. Most are lead here by google and facebook with Uriel’s name as the keyword. So, hello Uriel’s friends. Feel free to keep coming back. Not sure what you all want to find here, but you won’t see naughty pictures and videos of Uriel here. I won’t post them, IF they do exist.
Anyways, I hope the next 10 years will be better than the last. As for dating, well all the guys can keep asking me out, but all their advances are wasted on me. I’m not going to date. Not now, maybe not ever. I’m not desperate to get a boyfriend, unlike certain people. I used to want to get married (to Uriel actually), but since he’s gone, I don’t want it anymore. Maybe this will change, maybe it won’t. Who knows. I think Uriel broke my heart beyond repair. Sucks to be me right?
As I’ve said, I’m happy. Sure I have lonely my moments. Who doesn’t? That’s what this blog is for. It’s definitely not a creative outlet, but an outlet nonetheless, so I don’t have to talk about Uriel to any of my friends and family. You all most likely won’t believe it but I have not uttered Uriel’s name nor talked about him to anyone since July. That is why this blog mostly talks about him, because I don’t talk to anyone about him anymore. Because everyone hates him, as all his friends and family probably hate me as well.
I still hope for our paths to cross. I hope it’s sooner and this year. But he hates me and all I want is for him to stop hating me because I’m a much better person now than I was 8 months ago. All I want is for Uriel to see the better me and give us, at least our friendship, another chance. Is that too much to ask?
Since I’ve disabled comments, for anyone who wants to reach me, I’m on aim: kyuuteejilly . I’m interested to hear your take, but please be civil.
Peace out.
