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I drove to Glendale to ride my bike with my cousin. I bought this bike around end of May/beginning of June as a way to help me deal with Uriel and the intense pain I was feeling at that time. Biking was one of the things I started doing to help me get my mind off Uriel (didn’t really work, but hey, it helped me start working on my fitness!). Anyways, my cousin and I rode the mountains and got hungry so we decided to stop by whole foods and get pizza. We chained and locked our bikes together in a pole and figured both bikes would be safe because of the cameras around the vicinity. And there were tables with people eating. So off we went and enjoyed our pizzas. 20 minutes later we went outside to go home and as we moved closer to the bikes, I noticed that there was only one. My first thought was, well it’s dark, maybe I can’t see my bike because it’s dark. Then, as we got closer, it was clear that there was only one bike and not two, at which point I blurted out “Um, where’s my bike?” My cousin freaked out and our fears were confirmed: my bike got stolen.

I don’t know what came over me, but I was calm the whole time. Not a shed of tear. Anyways, we looked for the security guard and found two and they suggested we call the cops and report the incident. Which we did. The lady on the phone said the cops will be by soon. 45 mins later, and finally the cop came. Asked me questions about my bike. Then he gave me his card, and told me that they will call me if they find it. But he said don’t hold my breath. Then we walked home to my cousin’s place. The cop was nice enough to offer us a ride, but I felt bad so I declined. On the PLUS SIDE, O M G, that cop was HAWT. Haha!

By the way, do not get fooled about those “security cameras” you see around complexes. They are a bunch of fake shit. We went in to talk to the manager of whole foods about the cameras, and guess what? Those “security cameras” do not even work. They’re just there. In addition to that, the place was buzzing with security guards, and yet someone still managed to steal my bike. Sigh.

Just another reason I can add to why I hate whole foods.

In addition to my bike incident, I just found out from a good friend that an acquaintance from the wireless industry has passed away and I was saddened to hear the news. She was a very good person. She gave me a ride from the airport to the hotel in Florida when we were there for a conference. And I just met her right then and there. She was vibrant and full of life. She recently got married last May, and was pregnant with her first baby. She had a blood condition, and had problems with blood clots. I think a clot went to her brain so they had to do emergency C-section. Unfortunately both she and the baby did not make it. =( I was never close to her, but she was always pleasant whenever I see her at conferences.

Anyways, such is life. Today was just one of those days.

Today, we celebrated my mom’s birthday. I’ve been up since the wee hours of the morning baking cupcakes for my mommy. As usual, a lot of our relatives came. I always have a fabulous time whenever my cousins and aunts and uncles and nephews and nieces are here. We’re a big family so we’re always loud and there’s tons of laughter and everyone always have a blast spending time with each other. I love my family and relatives, but there’s one thing I don’t look forward to when they are over. Meddling about my sister’s and my relationship status.

I don’t get it. We are young. Why do we always get questioned every single time there’s a family gathering. My sister is seeing someone but she hasn’t told the family (although most of the cousins know about it) about him yet. I just got out of a long, 4 year relationship. Albeit, it was a secret relationship. It wasn’t my choice. But no one knew about my relationship with Uriel except my cousin and my sister. I hate it when they assume that I can’t get a fucking boyfriend. I’ve had boyfriends. They just didn’t know about them, because the moment I tell them about having a boyfriend, I get pressured into getting married. And quite frankly, I partly blame my relatives for the demise of my relationship with Uriel. If they never nagged me about getting married, then I probably wouldn’t have pressured Uriel into anything. My therapist seems to agree with me on this.

So, the moment they opened their mouths about fixing me up with someone, I just told them straight out to drop it. Thankfully, they dropped the subject. I was in no mood to tell people about my recent heart break. Quite frankly, it’s none of their business. I know this shouldn’t bother me, but it does. Especially with what I went and still going through. The unbearable pain of losing someone. The feeling of a huge gaping hole in my heart.

I just wish they’d let us be. A bunch of my cousins got pregnant or got someone pregnant in their teens. Shouldn’t they be proud of us for not getting knocked up and actually doing something valuable with our lives? They should just be fucking happy for us. What if I don’t want to be in a relationship right now? What if I don’t want to get married right now? What if right now, I choose to be alone because I need to try and mend my broken heart. Something that I am uncertain can be done. Love gives someone the power to break you. I’d been broken beyond repair. (Stephenie Meyer)

I still had a great time today. Unfortunately, the event made me think of Uriel. And it brought me down and the wound that I’ve been trying to heal has been opened. All the regrets, the shoulda, coulda, wouldas came flooding and I wish for things to be well between us again.

The wound is fresh again. It festers and it hurts more than ever.